Significant?

So I haven't written anything in two weeks, which I find a little concerning. There is this, well I'm not sure if I should call it a problem per se, but its more of an uncomfortable feeling that I'm getting.

You see, for the past few weeks I noticed that I've been a little pessimistic about the way I started to handle things. I remember that this thought process started when the topic of death of a family member/friend came up. I just thought that compared to death, everything seems so trivial. If someone I was close to were to die I would feel that everything else is insignificant.

I think that in a sense, everything else is insignificant; well, at almost everything anyway. In the end, the things that make you mad, the people that annoy you, your successes and failures, everything feels so insignificant. Now, of course I'm talking about the more trivial things; somethin along the lines of "I finally achieved my dream of ending world hunger" is by no means insignificant- eh you know what I mean.

Its kinda sad that it takes something as powerful as death to bring this perspective into mind. But maybe people, myself included, just need something that strong to put everything into perspective for them.

This whole thought process made me hesitant on many things. For example, for weeks I contemplated on buying Starcraft 2 (Which I bought today, yeee). On one hand, its "I really really want Starcraft 2" but on the other hand it was "well... this isnt really that important and its a lot of money and you could be saving it on other things and mom is gonna get mad if she finds out" etc.

Honestly, Starcraft 2 is a pretty insignificant thing. I don't need it and its really just something to fulfill my desires. But then I came to the other conclusion that while most things in life are insignificant, its some of those insignificant things that makes life so worthwhile and... well significant. Funny how that works eh?

I want to be able to grow into these two types of mindsets. Learning to accept that something is insignificant and so not make a big deal out of it, e.g., getting into an argument, getting mad at someone etc. But also learning to know when something insignificant can play into a much bigger picture that is significant is pretty damn important too.

I'm starting to strive toward these two ideals(Yea, lets face it the ability to do both or even one all the time is pretty idealistic at my age. This is something that comes with wisdom and I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed) and frankly I'm a little scared. I'm not really afraid of the change that I want to make, I'm more afraid of what that entails.

But then again, if you're not even a little afraid of where you're going, is it truly worthwhile?

P.S. Sorry if this post seems kinda all over the place, it just felt that way while I was typin it.